Matters of the Heart
by rawker-demyx
Summary: John Sheppard. He can handle intergalactic space vampires and nuke wielding Amish, but when it comes to emotions, he's not really the person to talk to. Unfortunately for him, an encounter with an Ancient lab makes him confront things he tried to avoid.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Matters of the Heart

**Author:** Rawker Demyx

**Pairing:** Sheppard/Lorne

**Rating:** NC-17

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or am in any way affiliated with Stargate Atlantis, nor am I being paid for this. This work of fiction is simply for the enjoyment of fans.

**Note:** This is being cross-posted to my LJ (.com/), Wraithbait (under Astrophysicist), and (under Rawker Demyx).

*****

"Whoa," was the only thing to come out of John's mouth. The wall of the cave, or rather the hologram disguised as a cave wall, had simply dissolved away as he passed by it.

"'Whoa' what? Please qualify the 'whoa,'" the agitation in Rodney McKay's voice apparent. If you deprived him of food for even a few hours, he became a force even the Wraith would not want to reckon with.

"'Whoa' holographically disguised cave wall 'whoa,' Rodney! What does it matter? Just, 'whoa!'" John called back over his shoulder. He felt more than heard McKay come up behind him and then vaguely saw the Ancient scanner the scientist was carrying waving around out of the corner of his eye. His gaze was drawn to the darkness of the recently revealed…what the hell is this?

"This probably explains those faint energy readings I picked up…hm…now that the hologram's off, no more energy readings…no life signs…" McKay mumbled as he switched through the various functions of the hand-held device.

John raised his P-90 and turned on the light to get a better view inside. "Well," he said, "the hologram was definitely there to hide something. Let's take a look inside…" He added as an afterthought, "Teyla, Ronon, you two keep a lookout here."

As soon as John walked past where the false wall had been, lights suddenly sprang to life overhead. He froze in his tracks and said over his shoulder, "Well, this feels familiar."

"Yeah, certainly seems Ancient."

It was surprises like this that John found worrisome. Finding random, hidden Ancient things did not usually bode well, least of all for him; he seemed to be a magnet for Ancient trouble. Keeping his P-90 raised in front of him, he pressed on into the darkness still in front of them.

Lights continued to activate the further he walked into what he was quickly hoping turned out to be less exciting than his morning coffee. Finally, an array of computer consoles and screens illuminated along a wall facing the wall entrance.

Looking over his shoulder at his teammate, John couldn't help but feel that Rodney looked like a kid in a candy store. "Any idea what this place is?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," McKay said, the astounded look still on his face.

"Well, maybe you should find out…" John urged.

"Oh…right." McKay scurried over to the nearest console and started hooking up his computer to the Ancient system.

John swept his gaze around the room to make sure he had not missed anything on their way in, but all he saw were the computers and the screens, all of which had the Ancient language scrolling across them.

McKay looked up form his computer with a triumphant look on his face. "It's definitely an Ancient lab."

John gave him an exasperated look and said, "Okay, Rodney…but what kind of lab? Did they study cute, little animals or bioweapons? We don't have the best of luck with places like this, you know." McKay's expression quickly deflated and he mumbled something about how he would figure it out. John left him to his devices and kept a lookout around the seemingly empty laboratory just in case there were any nasty surprises.

A few more minutes passed and John had not suddenly melted into a pile of protoplasm, so he started to think that maybe this time would be different. As he began to let his P-90 fall to his side, he instantly regretted it as soon as he heard a sort of distant humming sound coming from somewhere above him and when he looked up he was nearly blinded by a bright light. He could distantly hear Rodney yelling something to him, but he couldn't make it out really as the humming got louder and then he was suddenly flat on his back lying on the floor.

John cracked open his eyes a little bit and was instantly regretful due to the brilliance of the lights overhead that seared his retinas. Trying a second time, a little more slowly though, he could make out the forms of Rodney and Teyla standing above him looking concerned.

"John," Teyla said in her softest, most concerned voice, "are you feeling alright?"

"What the hell just happened?" He groaned out while trying to get off of the ground. Just like opening his eyes, his first attempt at this was somewhat unsuccessful, but, the second time, the Athosian woman grabbed one of his hands and put her other hand on his shoulder to support him while she helped him sit up. He took a look around himself and did not see anything out of the ordinary, except that he had been lying on the ground just a moment ago. Teyla and Ronon had apparently come into the lab at some point after he lost consciousness and while Teyla was making sure he was unharmed, Ronon stood guard just inside the lab entrance. He had apparently been pulled clear of the center of the lab and the others seemed to be giving it a wide berth.

Rodney had that grin on his face that he got when he thought he was being quite funny, "Well, you woke up is what just happened. Now, twenty minutes ago on the other hand…"

"Dr. Beckett should be here any minute, Colonel," Teyla told him reassuringly.

John shook his head, slowly though so as not to upset his burgeoning headache, and said, "No, no…I'm fine." He paused a second thinking back on what he could remember. "Rodney…you said twenty minutes? What was that?"

McKay suddenly went into excited scientist mode and began to explain, "Well, there's a ring platform in the ceiling, and—"

"Ring platform?" Ronon interrupted.

"Well, we haven't seen any in Pegasus before…" McKay reasoned. "It's something the Ancients invented that works kind of like the stargate, except over much shorter distances." He pointed up to the ceiling, "These rings, each one looks a bit like a the 'gate, drop down, or sometimes come up from the floor, form a stack, deconstruct everything inside, then transport the matter stream to another ring platform which then reintegrates the stream into the original person or object."

"And that means…?" Ronon prompted with a bewildered look.

"What I think Dr. McKay means is that it is a transportation device of some kind," Teyla translated. John knew she did not have an understanding of the inner workings of the technology itself, and for that matter neither did he, but she had made friends with several of the scientists over the past couple years and could at least interpret what McKay was saying.

After Teyla's diplomatic translation, Ronon gave McKay a blank stare and simply said, "So, it moves people around."

"Well, yes," McKay said, that exasperated tone he had coming out, "but it's a bit more complicated than that."

Ignoring McKay's superior attitude, as they were all used to it by now anyway, Ronon asked, "Then where did Sheppard just go?"

"Well, he…" McKay's voice trailed off and he was obviously trying to decide if the embarrassment of admitting he did not know the answer to Ronon's question was worth satisfying his curiosity. Being a scientist, he obviously decided it was, "Yeah, where did you go?"

"I was unconscious, Rodney!" John gritted through his teeth.

"Oh…right," McKay sheepishly mumbled.

"Had another wee bump on the head did we, Colonel?" Beckett asked smiling as he strolled into the lab, he medical bag swinging gently at his side. He did not seem to be in too much of a hurry to get to the there, so the others must have told him that John did not seem too injured.

"Yeah…um…what? I'm a colonel?" John asked with a dazed expression on his face. He had to suppress a grin as the good doctor's eyes widened and he looked to each of John's teammates for confirmation. "Sorry, Doc…just a little chronically injured patient humor."

"Oh," Beckett started, "aye, I'll give yeh chronically injured," he joked good-naturedly. He pulled out his penlight from his bag and started to shine it in each of John's eyes in turn. John resisted the urge to groan and wince in response to the light flooding his eyes and instead let the doctor get on with his examination; he figured some momentary discomfort was preferred over undiagnosed blunt force trauma.

"So, what happened to him, Rodney?" Beckett asked while looking for any physical marks to explain why John had blacked out.

"He doesn't know, Doc…" John answered before McKay had a chance to make himself seem more important.

The physicist scurried quickly back to his computer and the Ancient console and called back over his shoulder, "I'm working on it!"

"Colonel," Beckett said, "I wanna get yeh back to the infirmary to do some scans, just to be safe. Think yeh can walk to the stargate?"

"Yeah," John muttered, managing to stand up without any assistance, but a small stumble belied his assurance. He recovered and pressed on, "Yeah, I think I can do it just fine." He thought for a second and then added, "Teyla, Ronon, you two stay here with McKay."

"Of course," Teyla replied in her typical, business-like way.

A grunt was the only acknowledgment John got from the large Satedan. With a sympathetic smirk on his lips, John told him, "Be good, Chewie."

John and Beckett made their way from the concealed laboratory in the general direction of the stargate, their pace a bit slower than normal, but John did not want to push himself too hard without knowing what exactly happened to him in the lab to leave him feeling not quite himself. If Carson noticed the slowed stride, and John was sure that he had picked up on it, being the skilled, observant physician that he was, he did not comment. It had been about a forty minute leisurely walk for his team to make it from the 'gate to the cave where the lab was hidden, so he figured they were about halfway along the well-worn path through the coniferous forest before he said, "Wait a minute, how did you get here so quickly? Everyone was still in the lab when I came to and there was no way they had enough time to get back here, dial the 'gate, and radio Atlantis for help."

"Aye," Beckett acknowledged, "but Dr. Weir wanted to let you know that the Daedalus had just returned from their Milky Way run. Teyla told her that you had lost consciousness and that I should come check you over as soon as I could get here. Not knowing your exact condition, bless them but none of your team has any real medical training, I ran from the 'gate to the cave, Teyla giving me directions the whole way."

"Oh," was the only response John could think to say, not that he was ungrateful towards the doctor for his passionate professionalism, he just did not know how to really express his thanks. He decided to just be straightforward and muttered, "Thanks." The sluggishness that accompanied forced unconsciousness was wearing off and he managed to pick up the pace a little bit, eager to get back to the city and put this place behind him. He could not quite figure out why, but after the incident in the lab, he had been feeling a little unnerved.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, not quite comfortable but not awkward either, and finally arrived at the stargate. The good doctor dialed the address for Atlantis while John pushed his identification code into his GDO so they did not end up smashed into oblivion against the 'gate shield on the other side.

"I'm almost positive I can remember my code," he joked, shooting a lopsided grin in Beckett's direction to let him know it was in jest.

The Scot directed his eyes skyward and gave a little moan before he said, "I don't wanna think about what would happen if you didn't…"

John's GDO gave the all-clear signal to indicate the shield was down and they would not die a few seconds after stepping through into the wormhole. The two men stepped closer to the portal and John took a moment to look at the ripples in the puddle before stepping through. While he loved traveling to other worlds, exploring new lands and meeting new peoples, he did not particularly enjoy the sensation of 'gate travel itself. He did not hate it per se, but he found the experience a little disconcerting as the world and all sensation seemed to slip away once you stepped through the event horizon. But, in the blink of an eye, he was standing in the Control Center in the central spire of Atlantis and the wormhole was disintegrating behind him.

Dr. Weir was waiting by the 'gate for them to return, the expression on her face a little anxious, while a nurse with a gurney was standing next to her. He could see the diplomat taking inventory of him, making sure he was not missing any limbs or bleeding all over her city before that worried countenance disappeared.

"Elizabeth," John offered as a greeting, his usual smirk slipping into place: the picture of normalcy.

"John, what happened this time?" She asked, her voice now somewhat exasperated rather than anxious.

"Boy takes team on mission, scientist finds Ancient lab, boy ends up passed out on the floor. Same old story really," John drawled, trying to act nonchalant about the whole ordeal. He saw Beckett wave off the nurse with the gurney out of the corner of his eye.

Weir gave him a look which said, "I find this to be rather serious, so why don't you?" But, instead of pressing the issue, knowing it would never really get her anywhere, she just turned to Beckett and said, "Let me know what you find."

Beckett just nodded his head and, together, the two of them walked out of the Control Center and down the adjacent corridor towards the nearest transporter. There were a few people milling about, going through the daily activities of research and exploration of the Ancient city, some of them just enjoying some time off, but nothing really out of the ordinary. He could hear rushed footsteps getting closer though and when a frazzled looking scientist turned the corner and came running in their general direction, that is when it suddenly happened.

John suddenly felt very anxious, nervous really, and tense all over. It was that feeling like there was not enough time for him to finish something, something very, very important, and he did not know what to do about it. It was that feeling you got when you knew you had screwed up so bad that maybe, just maybe, you had ruined everything you really wanted. He had had that feeling enough times at the Air Force Academy to recognize it and more than enough times to know he did not want to feel that way again.

His breathing had sped up and he could feel his heart hammering away inside his chest. Distantly, he was aware of Carson talking to him, the doctor's hand gently placed on his arm, asking him if he was alright, but he could not seem to bring him self to answer back. Time seemed to slow down and his gaze felt pulled to the scientist as she rushed past. He vaguely thought she looked familiar, that he had maybe seen her working in McKay's lab sometime, but what struck him mostly was the expression on her face: it mirrored exactly the feelings that were running through him.

He might not be the most comfortable person when it came to talking about emotions, he just did not do it at all truth be told, but he did have them and he had been trained to read other people's faces, to recognize what was going through their minds. All of his training told him that this woman was very nervous, anxious, and was in a desperate hurry.

His eyes followed her as she disappeared around a corner and as suddenly as it began, the feeling went away. The world seemed to come back into focus and John could feel his heart rate begin to slow while he worked on taking deep, relaxing breaths. The last vestiges of anxiety ebbed away and it was almost as if it had not happened at all. After composing himself completely, he looked towards Beckett and saw the look of concern in his eyes. In fact, John was concerned too, and a part of him hoped that McKay would be coming back soon with some answers from that lab.

"Come on, Colonel, we need to get you under the scanner," Beckett told him. His hand was still on John's arm as he guided him to the transporter.

The door to closet-sized room opened as the two men approached and they quickly stepped inside. Beckett hurriedly pushed the icon on the computer panel nearest the infirmary and, for a moment, the doors closed. When they opened again, it was to show a distinctly different corridor, albeit similar in style to the one in which they had just been standing. The most remarkable difference though was that there were no more people wandering about in this one.

The infirmary itself was rather deserted. It seemed to be a fairly quiet day in the city, a nice change from the usual myriad of injuries, illnesses, and accidental brushes with alien technology that seemed to plague the Atlantis Expedition. Of course, John mused, he of all people would be the exception to an otherwise calm day.

He lied down on the diagnostic table underneath the scanner and watched as the doctor stepped over in front of the computer station designed to interface with it. "Try to hold still now, Colonel."

"Doc," he said, "I've been in here enough times to know the drill."

"Aye, I'm aware of just how many times you've been in here, son." The Scot's accent seemed to be getting more intense as he got worked up, the same as he always did in urgent situations. Knowing how to read the doctor's mannerisms, John found it touching how much the man cared for all of them.

The green light of the scanner activated and John sat as still as possible as it moved slowly down, parallel to his body, before changing directions and coming back up again. John found the wait to be almost interminable, but he actually knew that the scanner was quite efficient at what it did and it was really just his own aversion to sitting still that was the problem.

His first indication that this was not going to be one of the more cut and dry medical problems that happened in the Pegasus galaxy was the sigh he heard escape the doctor's lips. "Well," he started, "the scanner doesn't show any differences between now and your last physical." The Scot grabbed a stool and brought it over to sit down next to the table on which John was lying. He sat up and let his legs hang over the edge of the table while the doctor continued, "Can you tell me what happened back there in the hallway?"

John had known this was coming, of course the Carson would ask that, he would be negligent if he did not, but that did not mean the John was comfortable talking about it. He compromised with himself and said, "I don't know. I just…I felt out of breath. And…not really dizzy or anything, but like the world was…" He paused for a second before hesitantly continuing, "Slowing down? I don't know how to describe it really." He did not say anything about the scientist that had rushed past him at the time. John did not have any reason to think that she was in some way related to what he had felt, but some part of himself told him that that was the case.

"Well, just to be safe, we're going to do a full work up on you, but I don't really know if we'll find anything the scanner didn't," Carson told him.

Beckett released him to his quarters about an hour later. The doctor had some samples of his blood to analyze and wanted to go over his medical history in detail before trying to diagnose what this latest run in with Ancient technology may have done to him, but in the meantime he did not see anything that gave him reason to keep John under lock and key in the infirmary. The doctor just made John promise to call him if anything else happened like the episode in the hallway. In the meantime, he was ordered to get some rest and wait for Rodney to get back from the planet, hopefully with some useful information from the lab's computers.

The door to his quarters slid open at his approach and, as he walked through, he reached out a hand to activate the lock. Satisfied that he would not be disturbed by any number of people simply barging into his room to inform him the city was about to be destroyed, he sat on his bed and unlaced his boots, kicking them off and watching them land in the corner nearest the door.

With a groan, he lied down on he bed and absently thought about picking up War and Peace, but he felt so exhausted that he did not even need the heavy Russian literature to send him off to sleep. His eyes slipped closed and his breathing eventually slowed while he entered the world of dreams where, contrary to his normal, everyday life, nothing exciting ever happened.

*****

**Notes:** Lorne will make an appearance in the next chapter, I swear! I just had a lot of setting up to do. Please let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Matters of the Heart

**Author:** Rawker Demyx

**Pairing:** Sheppard/Lorne

**Rating:** NC-17

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or am in any way affiliated with Stargate Atlantis, nor am I being paid for this. This work of fiction is simply for the enjoyment of fans.

*********

John's eyes snapped open suddenly as a rush of energy coursed through his body. He looked around quickly to take in his surroundings, sleep still clouding his mind for a moment. There was nothing out of the ordinary, just his quarters in Atlantis. A glance at the clock beside his bed told him that it was just about the middle of the night on Lantea.

Trying to dismiss the feeling that had woken him up and made his whole body tense, John lied back down and closed his eyes again. If he did not dwell on what appeared to just be his imagination too long, he might actually be able to get back to sleep. No sooner than he closed his eyes again, though, he felt it a second time. It was not an uncomfortable feeling by any means, but he still could not understand what was causing it.

This time, the sensation persisted and while he considered what the source might be and whether or not he should get his radio and call Doctor Beckett, he felt something else: a familiar stirring in his boxers. Just as suddenly as the first wave of feeling that hit him, he suddenly felt a surge of pleasure flow through him, up and down his spine, all the way to the tips of his fingers and his toes and pooling in his groin.

John could not help the moan that escaped his lips as he arched his back, his hips pushing up, trying to push more into something that was not even really there. Another moan passed his lips along with a small gasp as he thrust up into the air over and over again. All conscious thought of what was happening to him left his mind as long as the sensations just did not stop.

"Please," he begged, not even knowing what he was asking for or who he was asking to give it to him. His eyes were glazed and his breaths were coming in short pants as his hips left the bed one more time and the force of one of the most powerful orgasms he had ever felt wracked his body. His muscles tensed and he shook as he came hard, his seed landing on his stomach.

He let out the breath he had been holding since he came and collapsed back onto the bed, his mind still cloudy with endorphins. "What…the fuck…was that?" He managed to gasp out into the sudden stillness and quiet that permeated the room. He was not sure how long he sat there trying to catch his breath, reveling in the post-orgasmic euphoria, but it felt too soon when he stood up to make his way to the bathroom and wash away the evidence of what had happened.

As the steaming hot water poured over his skin, still sensitive from whatever it was that woke him up, John decided that it was probably better that he did not tell Carson about what happened, no matter what the doctor had asked him to do. He knew it was probably a stupid thing for him to do, that clearly he had been affected by whatever happened in that lab, but it was just too personal for him to discuss it.

He turned and let the water cascade down his back, the pressure feeling good against his skin. He stopped himself before the moan of pleasure could escape his lips, his thoughts instantly turning back to his wake-up call. When he noticed his fingers starting to prune, he decided he had been in there long enough and quickly bent his head into the stream from the shower, the water plastering his dark hair against his forehead. He casually noticed how long his hair was getting since he had not cut it since he was last Earth-side; not so long that it still stood up in the front and anywhere else he had a cowlick, and he had lots of those, but it was still longer than military regulations strictly allowed. John never put much stock in many of the regulations.

The cold hit him when he stepped out the shower and he immediately toweled off to try and get warm again. Figuring that he should go to the control room to see if there had been any word from McKay, he grabbed the nearest clothes he could find, some civvies, a pair of tight jeans and a black, long-sleeve shirt with an open collar, and grabbed his boots.

"Colonel!" He heard a surprised voice say as he stepped out of his quarters.

He glanced down the hallway and saw Lorne stepping out of his own quarters just next door to John's. "Major," he acknowledged, a polite smile sliding into place. "How was the trip on the Daedalus?" John noticed that the major's hair was a little wet and knew that his XO had also just gotten out of the shower himself.

"Wasn't bad, sir." He grinned at John and continued, "Just three weeks aboard a ship with a whole batch of fresh marines."

John did not think that that sounded exactly pleasant, but he also did not think it would do well to share his opinions on the matter with his executive officer. Instead, John decided to joke with the major, "As long as they left your innocence intact…" and then he just trailed off. He could feel a rush of embarrassment rise up in him at the words he just uttered, but again the feelings did not really track. He would not normally be embarrassed just joking around with the major, so he could not imagine why he would be now.

When John realized that he and Lorne had been standing there for some time with nothing but an awkward silence between them, he gave a small cough and mumbled something about having to go to the 'gate room. Lorne simply nodded his head and offered his commanding officer a small smile and a wave in parting. John watched him head down the corridor before turning and walking in the opposite direction. Glad to put that particularly, though peculiarly, awkward moment behind him, John headed to the nearest transporter to take him to the main spire of Atlantis.

Minutes later, he was walking into the main control room for the city. He glanced around the room at the few people stuck working the night shift, not really knowing any of their names as he was used to Chuck and the rest of the day crew. Part of him felt a little guilty for it, but there were just some people you never really got to know, even living among a relatively small group of people in an alien city in another galaxy.

"Any word from McKay yet?" He asked the woman sitting in the place Chuck normally occupied.

The technician tucked an errant lock of her blonde hair behind her ear before saying, "No, Colonel, I'm afraid not. He and Dr. Zelenka are scheduled for a check-in about," she glanced at the time on her computer screen before continuing, "ten minutes from now."

John decided that prodding McKay was never a bad idea and it was almost their scheduled time to check-in anyway. "Go ahead and dial P5X-773."

"Yes, sir." The woman reached over to the Atlantis DHD and began to press the combination of symbols that would connect the stargate to the world with the Ancient laboratory. As she pressed the final button to lock the coordinates encoded into the stargate's chevrons, the wormhole burst into existence in its typical kawoosh before resolving into a vertical standing puddle.

John pressed the button to activate his radio earpiece before saying, "McKay, this is Sheppard, come in."

"Sheppard!" Rodney's voice came loudly and clearly though the earpiece. So loudly and clearly, in fact, that John almost winced and pulled it out of his ear.

"Rodney, you mind toning it down a bit?" He asked, the agitation in his voice obvious enough even for McKay.

"Sorry!" The scientist yelled back through. This time John really did take the radio out of his ear and held it a good four inches or so away. "A storm started coming in and the wind is really picking up! We downloaded anything we didn't get through and are bringing it back with us now!"

"Okay, Rodney, okay!" He looked to the 'gate technician. "We're shutting the gate down now. Dial in when you're ready." He tapped the button on the side of the radio again to close the link and put it back in his year just as the wormhole disengaged.

When a few minutes had passed and the stargate had not activated yet, John realized that he should have asked McKay for an estimate on how long it would take him to reach the portal on the alien world. Figuring that Rodney had some information to share on what research had been conducted in the Ancient laboratory, John decided to contact Carson and Elizabeth as they would both be interested as well.

He regretted having woken Elizabeth up, but he knew that she would rather be woken up than left out of the loop. Carson, on the other hand, was still in the infirmary looking through his blood work and trying to find anything to explain what had happened to John. The doctor sounded like he could use a break and was also eager to hear what Rodney had found in the lab's computers.

Carson arrived in the room first, with a tired looking Dr. Weir not far behind him. While Beckett still wore his uniform, albeit in a bit of a relaxed fashion, Elizabeth looked thoroughly disheveled and had apparently not bothered to change out of her pajamas. John raised his eyebrow at her appearance, but the look she shot him made him think better of any further comments.

A distraction in the form of the stargate opening arrived and all of them turned their attention towards the forming wormhole. John heard the technician say, "Receiving Dr. McKay's IDC," before the shield protecting Atlantis from unwanted intruders lowered. Drs. McKay and Zelenka stepped through the puddle immediately followed by two marines who had been stationed with them on the planet just in case something else unexpected happened.

John, Elizabeth, and Carson walked out of the control room towards the conference room while Elizabeth called down to the scientists, "In here, gentlemen."

"What have we got?" She prompted once they had all taken a seat.

"From what I can tell," Rodney began before Radek interrupted him.

"From what we can tell!" The Czech exasperatedly emphasized the plural pronoun.

Rodney started over, "Yes, yes, from what we can tell, they were researching ascension." He stressed the word "we" maybe a little more than was necessary.

At the word ascension, John slouched in his chair and let out a pained groan. Anything that involved what some people called the Ancient's greatest achievement usually meant a giant headache for him. It was like someone flipped a switch in his head and he quickly sat up straight and rested his clasped hands on the table in front of him. He suddenly felt both concerned and intrigued by Rodney's discovery, though he could not explain the abrupt change in his mood.

"Ascension, Rodney?" Elizabeth spoke up. "How so?"

"Well, it is actually quite similar to the device that made McKay evolve…" Zelenka chimed in.

"The ascension machine?" John interjected. "Didn't that thing make you ascend or die?"

McKay turned his attention to John and explained, "Yes, but this one is different. This was a much earlier attempt at understanding the process than the machine I found in the city."

"How much earlier?" Carson asked.

"I'm not quite sure exactly," McKay started. "The fact that it uses a ring platform means it's probably fairly old, since we haven't seen any more of those anywhere in Pegasus; even in the city they seem to have been replaced by the transporters. From the notes, it looks like they didn't quite understand a lot about ascension at that point. In fact, the Ancient conducting the experiments was actually doing it without the consent of the Lantean High Council."

"Wait, what exactly is it supposed to do?" Carson questioned. Of course he would be more concerned with what exactly happened to his patient. Elizabeth on the other hand, while concerned for John and his frequent exposure to dangerous situations, was more inclined to be curious about the Ancient's research into higher planes of existence.

"On a rudimentary level, the device works by using the rings to convert the person into a matter stream and then stores the pattern in a device in the ceiling. The device then introduces a small random mutation into the subject which appears to cause a small jump on the evolutionary scale. So, yes, it really is quite similar to the 'ascension machine' in a way. The notes say that this one, though, only causes small changes in the test subject. It's nowhere near as severe an alteration as that other one was." McKay seemed to say all of this in one breath, and appeared to only stop talking when he felt the need for air.

"So, I'm not going to get all those freaky mind powers you did?" John asked, sounding rather disappointed for the first time after his encounter with the lab. He was still a little jealous that he did not get a crack at the superhuman abilities like McKay had. He still did not trust Elizabeth when she said that it was also just as likely the machine would liquefy him.

McKay just sighed at what John was sure he considered to be predictable behavior on the military commander's part. "No, the test subjects in the experiment only sometimes exhibited advanced mental abilities and, even then, the effect seemed to only last for a few days."

John's mind began replaying the strange incidents he experienced since returning from P5X-773. There was the scientist in the hallway outside the control room, then the mind-blowing, Earth-moving (_Well, Lantea-moving…_, he thought somewhat sarcastically) orgasm that served as his wake-up call that morning. All of it clearly had something to do with his brush with the alien technology, but how exactly it all tied together, he was not sure. Maybe he had developed one of these advanced mind powers that McKay was talking about, but he could not really see the common thread between those things.

"John!" Elizabeth all but shouted.

John snapped out of his reverie and brought his focus back to the meeting. "I'm sorry. What?"

"I was asking," Elizabeth said slowly, the irritation in her voice at his lack of attention was masked, but still there, "if you had been experiencing anything strange since you got back. Moving things with your mind, spontaneously healing injuries, that sort of thing."

John felt a twinge of irritation in himself, though the logical part of his brain told him that he was being irrational. Why should he be irritated at Dr. Weir for showing concern for his health and wellbeing? _Unless…oh shit_. The realization hit John like a Wraith stunner and his mind reeled for a moment at the unbelievable sense of humor the Universe, or at least the Pegasus Galaxy, seemed to possess.

He paused to compose himself for a moment before he let the irritation show in his voice. "I, um…" John muttered, his voice trailing off into nothing for a moment. "I…no. Nothing I can think of, really." He shot a pointed look in Beckett's direction. John could see the Scottish man warring with himself about whether to call him out on his lie, but in the end he stayed silent.

"Well," Elizabeth began, and John could hear the mixture of relief and disappointment in her voice, "let us know if anything does happen, Colonel." She turned her attention back to Rodney and asked, "Anything else? Did the notes say how long it would take for any effects to manifest themselves?"

McKay looked uncomfortable for a second and looked at Zelenka before admitting, "Radek and I are still working on going through all the notes. You know what the computers were like when we got here. These systems haven't been maintained for even longer. The city might be older, but it was still in use ten thousand years ago. This has been untouched for longer than that, so we have to piece some information back together. Some parts might just be completely gone."

"Keep me appraised, Rodney. If that's all, then…" Elizabeth trailed off, signaling the end of the impromptu meeting. John could not wait a moment longer to get out of the conference room and someplace private to think. "Colonel Sheppard, a moment please!"

John stopped in his tracks and turned to face Dr. Weir while everyone else filed out of the room. "Yes, 'Lizabeth?" He had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"John," her voice was laced with sympathy, "I hope you understand that—"

He cut her off before she could finish, "Yeah, off duty until this is sorted out." She nodded her head in confirmation of his statement. "I've been falling behind on _War and Peace_ anyway." He tried to smile at her, but he was sure she was not entirely convinced. She knew that, like anyone else, he liked his downtime, he also did not appreciate being prevented from doing the job he loved more than anything else he had ever done.

Ignoring Elizabeth's parting words to him ("Get some rest, John."), he set off in the direction of his office. While he was technically off duty, it did not mean he could not catch up on the ever-growing stack of paperwork in his inbox; it just meant that he could not do anything actually productive. Normally, given the off time, he would have just gone to visit Rodney in his lab and shoot the breeze with him, but he knew it was in his best interest to let the scientist to concentrate at the moment. And, in any case, he felt like being alone and sorting through his thoughts.

The door to his office slid open at his approach and he paused in the doorway at the sight of his second in command sitting in his office chair. "Lorne," he said in greeting. He could feel more than sense the shock radiating off the man, further confirmation of what he had realized during the meeting.

"Colonel!" Lorne seemed to not just jump out of the chair as if he had been burned, but almost out of his skin. "I was just—"

A glance at his desk showed him that his inbox was a little bit smaller than he remembered it being the last time he saw it. John shook his head while saying, "At ease, Lorne. Carry on with whatever you were working on." He dropped into one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk than he was used to and just pulled his laptop over to start going through his emails. He glanced up to see that the Major had sat back down but had fixed him with an intense stare.

"Can I help you, Major?" He asked slowly.

Lorne snapped out of whatever thoughts he was lost in and went back to his paperwork. _My paperwork_, John amended in his head. "No, sir. Just…confused, sir."

"Drop the sir, Lorne," was the first thing out of his mouth. From the Marines it was tolerable, even from some of the newer personnel and the lower-ranking noncoms, but John was a pretty informal person and felt the need to help the major remove the stick up his ass that John was pretty sure one of his former commanding officers had shoved up there earlier in the man's career. "Confused about what?" He continued.

"Well," Lorne started to say. John could see him pause, trying to suppress the urge to say "sir" before he went on, "Colonel, I just rarely see you in your office." He looked up from the array of forms spread out in front of him. "In fact, I was starting to wonder if you knew where it was…" Lorne's eyes widened at that and John could feel embarrassment well up inside himself, knowing he was picking up on the shorter man's feelings. "What I mean to say, Colonel, is—"

He just chuckled a little bit and felt a wry smile tug at his lips before he let Lorne off the hook, "Don't sweat it, Major. It was funny." _Maybe I was wrong about Lorne's ass…_ he thought. _The stick, I mean!_ he added quickly in his head, though he did not know why he felt the need to correct his somewhat inappropriately phrased thought considering no one else could hear it. _Though, you never know around this place…Hell, I'm sensing people's emotions_.

Lorne just nodded his head and went back to his paperwork. John could now feel a vaguely uncomfortable feeling that he could not quite give a name to radiating off of his executive officer. John noticed that he was starting to pick up on emotions more easily and began to wonder if it had just taken time or if he was just getting better at doing it.

Sensing the effect he was having on the major, though, John decided to spare him any more discomfort and just take his computer back to his quarters. "I'll leave you to it, Major," John said as he tucked the laptop under his arm and made for the exit.

He heard Lorne stand behind him just as he heard the man say, "Yes, si—"

John turned around and quirked an eyebrow at Lorne while asking, "Yes?"

Lorne gave him a very small smile, almost unnoticeable, before saying "Yes, Colonel Sheppard."

_Something to work on…_ John thought.

*****

**Author's Note:** Hope everyone is liking it so far! I really don't want to rush things between them, so that's why we haven't quite gotten to the slashy goodness. But, be patient and it will come.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Sorry! I would have uploaded this sooner, but was having some problems accepting new file uploads. Also, I just got a new computer (yay 15" Macbook Pro!) so that slowed me down a little too. Still setting it up and everything, but I managed to finish this chapter for you guys. Chapter 4 should hopefully be up within the week, but I also have an idea for a oneshot I kind of want to do before I lose track of the idea.

*****

"John!" Teyla exclaimed as the door to her quarters slid open, the surprise evident in her voice before switching to concern. "Is everything alright?"

_What would anyone else think when an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel shows up at their door at 0330 hours_,John mused. "Yeah, everything's fine," he allayed her fears. "Just feeling a bit, um, restless."

She studied him for a moment, her uncertainty flowing from her mind to John's, before echoing back, "Restless?"

Now that he was here, standing in front of Teyla's door, obviously having woken her up, John knew how much of a bad idea this had been. He started to turn away, intent on going to the mess hall and grabbing a late night cup of decaf. "Nevermind, I'm sorry I bothered you. Just, uh, go back to sleep and I'll see you—"

"Please come in, John." She interrupted, an understanding smile gracing her lips. The Athosian woman turned and made her way back into her quarters while the door stood open waiting for John to enter.

The dark haired man hesitated for a moment before following her inside. The door quietly slid shut behind him and plunged the room into darkness. He could make out the various pieces of furniture and random knick-knacks around her room, the edges blurred and indistinct in the darkness. A sudden light in the form of a lit candle burned his eyes as he stared at his previously dark surroundings.

Teyla lit her multitude of candles and slowly distributed them around the room, leaving John with just his thoughts for the moment, the silence between a comfortable one. When she finished, he saw her take several pillows from the corner, decorated with Athosian patterns on them, and place them in two short stacks on the floor.

John was not quite ready to talk about what had driven him to come here and, to her credit, Teyla did not seem in any mood to rush him either. Finally, after several minutes of her watching him think, John felt the need to say something. "Are these new?" At the questioning look on her face, he clarified, "The pillows, I mean."

"Oh," she said, smiling, "yes. I acquired them on my last trip to visit my people."

"Ah." He acknowledged. "How are they doing?"

"They're fine. It is nearly harvest time and they are preparing to send representatives to our trading partners to begin bartering for supplies." John just nodded his head at her response, a stillness falling between them once more.

Teyla seemed content to let John lead the conversation. He knew she must have figured out that he had come to talk to her about something, whatever it was that was keeping him awake, but that was why he had come here. Heightmeyer was good at what she did, and John definitely saw the wisdom in having someone like her here for his people to go to, but she was always asking the typical psychologist questions about how everything made him feel. John needed to be able to work up to talking about it, if at all, and would just clam up if he were asked so directly.

"Um…" he muttered. He was not sure quite how he wanted to say this, if he even could.

"Yes, John?" Teyla prompted. He knew that her question was simply a response to his mumbling and not meant to pressure him in any way.

Picking up on her calm, serene state of mind, he pressed on, "Have you, uh, talked to McKay since last night? Or Weir?" He started. _Or Beckett, for that matter_, he added silently.

"I have not seen Rodney, no. As I understand it, he has been, um, holed up?" She paused, questioning her use of the Earth phrase. At a nod of John's head, she continued, "in his lab working on something." She took another moment before continuing in an off-hand voice, a small, knowing smile slipping into place, "But I have indeed spoken with Elizabeth today. We had lunch together."

"Oh," was all he could think to say. She obviously knew everything that had gone on in that late night meeting, but he knew that, of all people, Teyla was not going to press the issue. He took a deep breath, the combination of the heady scent of the candles and the soothing waves emanating from Telya calming him much more than he had ever thought possible.

Finally, when the silence had stretched on until John thought it must have been nearing daybreak, he asked, "How do you deal with it?" At the look of confusion marring her soft features, he explained, "The connection you have with the Wraith."

Teyla's expression changed from one of outright confusion something more guarded when she asked, "What do you mean 'deal with it?'"

"I mean," he said, then paused, not quite sure how to explain himself without giving his not-so-secret secret away. He decided to take a different track, "Do you remember the Queen we found? On the drilling platform?"

"I do not think I could forget that easily," was all she said, her voice low and haunted. John could feel the serene calmness ebb away and something more tense and apprehensive well up in its place.

Shaking off the low-level reflection of her uneasiness that he felt in himself, he pressed on, "She took control of you at one point, but you learned to block her out later. You even tricked her." He thought that, since she had spoken with Weir about what had happened to him, then she must have had some idea where he was going with this by now. "How did you do it?"

It was a testament to their friendship that Teyla did not ask him why he had asked her about this. Now that he had gotten to the heart of the matter, he could sense the curiosity in her mind. Despite anything Elizabeth may have told her, there was a point where knowledge ended and speculation began, and even if Teyla was not from Earth, not even from the Milky Way, she was still human and she was still his friend. Her curiosity was only natural.

"Close your eyes, John," was her answer. "Do you remember when we first met?" she asked. He had mixed emotions about the experience given what was happening at the time, but he nodded his head and listened as she went on, "You said you wanted to be my friend, my people's friend, when I said we did not trade with strangers. You told me about yourself then, John. And since then, I have come to know that those were things you thought you were never going to see again and regretted it." Though he had come here to Atlantis with nothing to lose, it did not mean that there were not things he would be happy to get back again someday. "Think of those things now."

Figuring that he had nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying his best, he urged his rather well developed imagination into action. Surprisingly vivid images flooded his mind: Ferris wheels he had ridden on, sometimes alone and sometimes not; sitting back with friends and watching football with a couple of beers; the first time he had piloted a chopper. This last thought was so intense that he almost felt like he was physically there again.

"Let those thoughts and feelings ground you," he heard Teyla continue, her voice sounding distant even though she was right there with him. "Hold on to them and let them ground you. Let the remind you of the person you are."

Keeping his eyes closed, he started, "Teyla, I—"

"John," she interrupted, "trust me." And he did, so he held his tongue. "When another mind brushes my own," she said, "I use my treasured memories to keep myself intact and anchored so that I am not swept away. But, with stronger minds, like that of a Queen, it can be taxing to resist. And if it is unexpected, it can be hard to find yourself again." She paused for a moment before continuing, "I do not know if this will ever be of help to you, but it has served me well in the past. It is simple, I know—"

"It's perfect," John finished for her. He opened his eyes and gave her a genuine smile. "And thank you for being here for me. I really appreciate it."

He knew she meant it when she told him, "Anytime, John." It was one of many moments when counted himself lucky to have found friends such as Teyla, Ronon, and even Rodney.

He excused himself from her quarters shortly after that and trudged back to his own, the relaxed feeling he had picked up in Teyla's quarters weighing him down and making the idea of his bed seem even more inviting that normal. A small part of him even thought that he would be willing to forego the wake up call he had gotten the last time he was asleep if he could just stay unconscious for a while longer. A somewhat larger part of him, though, literally jumped at the idea and he inwardly admonished his sometimes-overeager body.

It felt as if his head had just touched the pillow when his watch was beeping at him to wake up and face the day. He thought about just breaking it and telling Elizabeth that it was just shoddy Swedish craftsmanship that caused him to be late, but the more awake part of his mind decided that she would not only see through his lie, but also be hurt by the fate of the birthday present she had given him after his original watch had been irreparably damaged during their first year. Deciding that he was not eager to test Teyla's techniques against Weir's potentially stern disposition so early in the morning, he got up out of bed went in search of caffeine.

The mess hall was much busier than he expected it to be at this unwholesome hour, but then he realized that most of the people there were military who had probably had discipline more effectively drilled into them than he ever had. As he walked up to the coffee machine, he took a look around more closely to see if anyone he knew more than just in passing was there. He saw that there were a few scientists here and there among the military contingent, but no one in the crowd looking overly familiar. Finally, he spotted Lorne sitting in a corner next to a window, seemingly going over reports as he absent-mindedly ate his breakfast.

_Figures he's a morning person,_ John thought while he smirked a bit. He may be able to wake himself up at the slightest noise and instantly be alert, but John still did not enjoy mornings. He grabbed a muffin to go with his coffee and made his way over to the somewhat isolated table where his second in command sat. To be honest, John found the man to be somewhat puzzling. He was almost annoying in his adherence to protocol, but John knew this was only in his presence. He had even seen Lorne joking and hanging out with some of the junior officers, but he would always snap to attention the moment John entered the room. At some point, he had decided to make it his personal mission to get the man to lighten up a bit. The only thing better would have been to attempt the same thing with Colonel Caldwell, but he figured it was somewhat safer to work on Lorne, and loosening the major up had the added benefit of easier access.

He took a seat across the table from the younger man and casually sipped his coffee, grimacing slightly at the deplorable taste. _You'd think that a third of a cup of milk and eight spoons of sugar would have helped, but whatever's in this like-coffee, it's almost resistant to being anything other than bad tasting_, he mused. Lorne flipped a page of the report he was reading and John just arched an eyebrow before grabbing his muffin and taking a bite. The almost-cranberries were actually rather passable and he hoped they'd be trading for more of those instead of whatever travesty they had had the month before. _Although, there were the pseudo-blueberries that somehow made people drunk when they were baked…those were fun._

Lorne blindly groped for his fork before scooping up a bit of his scrambled eggs and slowly bringing them next to his mouth to hover there while he finished studying the last page of the report. The next few things to happen occurred in rapid succession and quickly had John regretting his decision to sit with his executive officer: Lorne looked up from the mission report, Lorne's eyes widened, John felt a wave of shock slam into him while a desperate thought of_ FERRIS WHEELS! _blazed through his mind, Lorne jumped out of his seat to stand at attention, Lorne knocked the table over, and John ended up on the floor covered in some kind of scrambled reptile eggs, something that looked like bacon that he was too afraid to ask about, and a triangular piece of toast sitting right on his crotch. Luckily, his like-coffee had been knocked out of his hand and ended up on the floor behind him instead of burning his face or some other unfortunate part of his body.

"Major," was all he said in response, his expression not one of amusement. He had risked not showering that morning to just lay in bed a little while longer and now he would have to take one anyway. He brushed the familiar looking, yet alien breakfast items off of himself and pushed himself up off the floor.

Had he not been irritated at the fact that he would have to go get cleaned up, he would have found the look of terror on Lorne's face actually somewhat funny. _He looks like he's about to piss his pants, the poor guy…_he thought.

"Sir, I'm so sorry, sir," Lorne started to sputter out. "I didn't realize you were there and then—oh my god—sir, can I get you anything, sir?"

"Lorne," John sighed, "at ease before you sprain something." The major seemed to relax a little at that, but his face was still torn between anxiety and something else John could not quite put his finger on, but whatever it was it was starting to bother him as he felt those same emotions welling up inside of himself. "I'm fine, okay? No harm, no foul." He paused to reconsider his statement and amended, "Well, okay, your food was pretty foul, but when have they ever served something edible here?"

Finally, at the sound of John's sense of humor, Lorne really seemed to relax and even went so far as to grin at the remark. "Dunno, sir. I think that meat they served last week was pretty good."

"Lorne, every time you say 'sir' from now on, I'm adding another twenty to what you're going to have to drop and give me someday," John said with his most intimidating Commanding Officer look. That seemed to make Lorne's grin only grow wider until it could almost be classified as a full-blown smile.

"Yes, s—," Lorne immediately began to say, but cut himself off at the look John was giving him. "S—Sunshine?"

John stared at Lorne somewhat dumbfounded, "Really?" When the other man did not answer he questioned, "Sunshine?" The major has the good sense to look somewhat sheepish but then he just shrugged his shoulders. "We really need to work on your imagination, Major." And now the grin was back and John could not really let it go. "Anyway, I couldn't eat anymore of that meat stuff anymore after I found a talon in my food." That wiped the smile right off his face and John inwardly smirked.

As he turned to walk away, John heard Lorne scramble over the fallen table and fall into step beside him. He just quirked his eyebrow at the other man and let it do the talking for him.

"I figured we could walk to the meeting together. We'll be kind of early, but, you know, since I'm done with breakfast and all," Lorne supplied. John noticed he had his reports clutched tightly to his chest.

"Meeting?" Was all John asked. He really had no idea what meeting Lorne was talking about. And he had been taken off active duty, so it's not like it really mattered. He did have a meeting with Elizabeth that morning, but that was just between the two of them to discuss some upcoming talks with Ladon and his Genii cronies.

Lorne looked at him quizzically for a moment before saying, "The bi-weekly military division's standard briefing. You set it up, sir."

"That's twenty, Lorne." John said automatically and he suddenly felt a twinge of something from Lorne, almost like he felt when he was kicking himself for making a stupid mistake. "Afraid I can't make it today, Major, you'll have to take it over. I have a meeting with Dr. Weir to discuss some things and then I'm off duty for medical leave."

"Well," his Executive Office offered, "we can reschedule the meeting until, uh, whatever it is that's got on leave is resolved."

"Whacky Ancient technology," was his answer to Lorne's unspoken question. "You know how well me and Ancient tech get along," he drawled as he rolled his eyes. "No, Lorne, you go ahead and take the meeting, you'll be just fine."

"Of course, Colonel," Lorne answered, his expression becoming neutral like the good soldier he was. But John could feel a modest sense of pride coming from the major that started just after John had finished his sentence.

"Well," he said, "here we are." At Lorne's confused look, he elaborated, "My quarters, Lorne."

"I thought you said you had a meeting with Dr. Weir?" He asked.

"I did, but I had this nasty food related accident in the mess hall just now and kind of figured I would clean up first, so if you don't mind, I'm going to go in, get out of these clothes, and take a hot shower." His newfound abilities clued him in to the fact that Lorne was feeling embarrassed and somewhat nervous, so as he stepped over the threshold and into his room, the trickster in him decided to continue, "So, I'm going to close the door now. Unless you were planning on joining me?"

"Gotta go, sir! Have a meeting!" And Lorne was suddenly dashing down the hall away from John's quarters as if he had been burned.

"That's forty!" John called after the man running down the corridor. He just shook his head as he laughed at the predictable man and began shrugging his clothes off to get ready for the shower. As soon as the water was the right temperature, he stepped him and tried to get clean as efficiently as possible since he did not want to keep Elizabeth waiting.

*****

The meeting had taken over two hours, but John was finally free. He had tried to retreat from Weir's office as quickly as he could make a seemly getaway, but had been held up when she had started asking him questions concerning his state of health. John had assured her that he was still doing fine and, although it was a lie, had not noticed anything out of the ordinary since his encounter with the Ancient lab. To be fair, his abilities had seemed to calm down somewhat and instead of being intermittent and powerful insights into the emotional states of various Expedition members, it had now become more subdued and was like a constant presence in the back of his mind. Unless someone felt a sudden, powerful emotion, he reckoned he could ignore it until he forgot it was even there, which, to be honest, greatly eased his comfort level.

He strode back into the mess hall for the second time that day, eager to actually get some food in his stomach, and was pleased to see his team sitting at a table with an empty chair waiting for him. He quickly made his way through the line, not really caring what he grabbed since actually knowing what it was he was eating was not usually a good idea in this place, and sauntered over to the table.

As he got close, he could here McKay and Ronon arguing about something, probably how McKay was going to get fat eating the way he did, but even from a moderate distance he could feel the warmth and caring feelings emanating from his team. They all truly cared for each other and they cared for him too. He hoped that they knew how much he thought of them all like his family, even if he could never really work up to actually saying it.

"John, please, sit." Teyla motioned for him to sit down across from her. "How are you feeling today?"

"Yeah, Sheppard," McKay managed to get out around a mouth stuffed with food, "started sprouting any tentacles in weird places?" Teyla made a face at this, but Rodney was oblivious.

"No, I have not, thank you. Your concern is truly touching." Though his voice dripped with sarcasm for Rodney, he made sure to give Teyla a look that told her that he really did appreciate it from her. John paused as he was about to take a bite out of something that reminded him of an apple and said, "Hey, shouldn't you be down in your lab analyzing the computer data from that machine?"

"Radek's on it," was all McKay said.

John felt a little slighted that McKay was comfortable delegating John's wellbeing to someone else, but then quickly dismissed the thought when he considered that Rodney had probably been working hard on it and was just taking a break. He started in once again on his food and just let the comforting emotions of his team wash over him, absently listening to the bickering between Ronon and Rodney, with the occasional interjection from Teyla.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he started to feel something like affection start to well up in him. He smiled as he thought about how he was getting sentimental the older he got, but the he realized it was not him. He was picking up on someone's emotions nearby, surely someone in the mess hall, but that was not so unusual at this point. Something about what he sensed began to nag at him, though, and the more he concentrated on it, the more he thought he knew why. Not only was there affection, but there was also guilt, and both emotions were aimed squarely at him.

He looked around the room to try and see if anyone might be watching him, subtly glancing at him, or doing anything else that might tip him off, but he could not really see anything too suspicious. There was a gaggle of scientists talking animatedly over in one corner, a smattering of marines around the room, a few members of the medical staff enjoying their lunch near the large windows that looked out over the ocean, and then there was Lorne sitting over in the corner reading reports again. Nothing suspicious at all.

"Sheppard!" McKay all but yelled in his ear.

"What? Sorry! What were you saying?" John asked, his concentration slipped and the feelings he was so interested in medled back into the overall background noise of the room.

"Didn't realize that super obliviousness was something you could attain through evolution," he heard Rodney mumble.

*****


End file.
